Wednesday, September 23, 2009

NyErro~n + A WarioWare Script, of all things?



[Click on it if you really want to see this abomination larger]



This, my friends, is what I do at school when I'm really, really bored.



Even weirder? That's not all. Last night, I picked up WarioWare: Twisted! for the first time in years; when I originally bought it, I actually found it too difficult to play. Now it's the same level as the other WW games to me, and dang nab it if it isn't one of the funnest things I've ever played. Of course, the night before, I finally beat the ORIGINAL WarioWare, Inc.: congrats, Pirka, it took you over 3 years to beat a video game.



Of course, as I lay awake in bed after playing, ideas of possible stage-themes crossed my mind, which led to this story: the epic adventures of Dr. Crygor, Penny Crygor, and a very angry snow crab.



[Intro:

Dr. Crygor bursts through the door of his laboratory, carrying a GROCERY BAG. He skids to a halt in front of a table, rubbing his hands together before pulling a large CRAB out of the bag. He looks at it with hungry eyes. A TABLE appears in front of him (as if it teleported there), set up for a meal (with CUTLERY, a PLATE, and SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS).

He puts the crab on the plate, drooling.

On-Screen Text:
Bon Appitite!

He's about to cut it open...but the crab is still alive, and it has other ideas! With angry eyebrows, it lunges for Crygor and CLAMPS ITS CLAW TIGHTLY onto CRYGOR'S NOSE!
Crygor WAILS IN PAIN!

On-Screen Text:
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Crygor JUMPS UP AND DOWN frantically, clearly in a lot of PAIN.

(Diamond City Map: Penny's House)

Cut to PENNY'S HOUSE.
Dr. Crygor's granddaughter, PENNY CRYGOR, hears Dr. Crygor's SCREAM all the way across town. She gets up with a start and RUNS OUT THE DOOR.

Cut back to DR. CRYGOR'S LAB.
Penny OPENS THE DOOR and runs into the lab, shocked.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: Grandpa...?!

Penny RUNS OFFSCREEN. When she returns, she is holding a comically large PAIR OF PLIERS.
She jumps towards Crygor, pliers SHINING DRAMATICALLY.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: I'll get you out of this fix!

She GRABS the crab with her pliers and starts to try to PULL it off...]

This is where the microgames start! By winning microgames, you help Penny detach the crab from Dr. Crygor's (now undoubtebly sore) nose.
The counter is a simple 'digital-clock'-style number at the bottom of the screen.
The lives are four little pairs of pliers like the one Penny is using, one in each corner of the screen.
When you WIN a microgame: Penny tugs hard at the crab and it appears to loosen a little.
When you LOSE a microgame/life: The crab clamps down harder and Dr. Crygor cries a bit.

[Epilogue:

Penny and Crygor are both PANTING, exhausted. Apparently, even after pulling so hard, the crab just WON'T BUDGE.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: I can't dislodge it! It's holding on too tightly!
-
Dr. Crygor: ...Unfortunately...this means...there are no alternative methods...
-
Penny: ...Yes...?
-
Dr. Crygor: ...We'll have to amputate!

Penny looks VISIBLY SHOCKED.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: There has to be a better way!

Penny RUNS BACK AND FORTH, as if thinking very hard of another way to get the crab off.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: WOAH! {CRASH!}


CLOSE UP on the TABLE. Penny, clumsy as always, accedentally BUMPS THE TABLE, sending the PEPPER SHAKER flying across the room, leaving a cloud of PEPPER behind it...

On-Screen Text:
Dr. Crygor: ...Ah...Ahhh...
-
Dr. Crygor: ...AHHHHHH...

CLOSE UP on Dr. Crygor.

On-Screen Text:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dr. Crygor SNEEZES VIOLENTLY, accompanied by a REPEAT CUT (as if it were an epic finishing blow).
The crab FLIES OFF, looking very SURPRISED as it hurdles through the air.
It lands on the ground, EYES SWIRLS.

On-Screen Text:
Dr. Crygor: Ughhh...{snorfle}...

Crygor REALIZES that the crab has become detached.

On-Screen Text:
Dr. Crygor: Huzzah! The infernal crustation has been removed!
-
Dr. Crygor: Now, at long last, I may eat it!

Penny looks a little DISGUSTED.

On-Screen Text:
Penny: ...Shouldn't we wash it first...?

PAN OVER to the crab, eyes still SWIRLS. It is visibly SPLATTERED WITH MUCUS...

On-Screen Text:
Dr. Crygor: That would be a sufficient plan. ]

THE END!

Yeah, I really have no clue where this SILLINESS came from! It just came out of nowhere...but I can imagine it really clearly. I love the sense of humor in WarioWare!

~ Pirka





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